Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
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