this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
