highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I lost the right to judge tonight
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
