3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize
