Pappa wants mamma naked
one might say we're banned from that church
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Cover your peen. We're going out.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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