I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
