i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Randomize
