I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
