i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I just got carded by a ten year old.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
