no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
