he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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