you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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