Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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