this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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