if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
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