I seem to have left my pride at pride
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
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