I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Randomize
