everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Randomize
