is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
