WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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