think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
