Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
