A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
