Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
