like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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