so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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