so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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