too bad you live with your parents still
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Randomize
