Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
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