I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
he had hair everywhere except his balls
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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