Taylor Swift is so right about you.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
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