just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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