True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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