Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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