I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
my shit smells like andre
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
