OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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