I wannas sexs uuuuu
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
My ass is underappreciated
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
