Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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