Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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