this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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