I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
