Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Randomize
