well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
