We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
