yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
You're a waste of cheezeits
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Randomize
