My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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