And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
