i don't like sucking hair
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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