hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Randomize
