The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
