If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Boobs are out for the taking
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
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