My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
